Marriage can be incredibly fulfilling and awfully hard. Sometimes all at once, but more often there are seasons. I love my guy, and he loves me... but I have noticed in looking at ourselves, and others around us, that this can be a real struggle-filled stage of relationship... the years when the children are young.
On August 14th, we will celebrate our 10 year anniversary! And we are going into it with 8, 6, 4 and 2 year old boys, no extra money and a year and a half of hellish post-partum depression (hopefully) behind us. We have very little time to ourselves and sometimes it seems we disagree on everything...
I like to be spontaneous and do new things... he is content with routine.
He likes adventure in bed... sometimes its all I can do to get out of bed with a smile.
I like talking and deep conversation... he finds it a struggle.
He resents my computer time almost as often as I resent his tv time.
He likes a clean house, and I hate hearing about the house being messy.
I am sensitive... he can get angry.
I admit we've had times when the stress and pressure, as well as arguing have been a real strain on our marriage. BUT in everything we have been learning, and God has been teaching us. Here are some things we've been slowly realizing:
Its not always worth it to keep the peace. Growth often comes through struggle.
Guilt has no place in the life of a believer... and I condemn myself far too often.
Depression is not a sin... nor is it a sin for my husband not to always know how to respond.
Anger does not produce the righteous life God desires (James 1:20)
Humility is the key to success.
Life with 4 young children is hard. Thats ok. Its also a joy.
The other person's needs are more important than my own.
I used to think marriage was made up of romance and emotional attachment, but now I know, its made up of forgiveness, commitment and the foundation of Jesus Christ. I highly recommend the movie Fireproof if you haven't seen it. Also the book, the Love Dare.. that came from it. Your marriage is worth fighting for, and its the foundation of your family. We may have gone through a lot this past year, but on coming out the other end of a difficult time, we see the fruit of the trial. Keep the faith! Love beyond yourself... and remember that love is a choice. Marriage is a truckload of grace and forgiveness. I'm so glad Jesus chose it in His love for us.
Prayers for you my friends..
A Simple Spring Break + TinkerCrate and Book Giveaway! - This spring break Graham decided to turn double digits! That’s right, he is now 10 years old. I can’t even believe it myself. For his birthday he want...
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