I decided that I needed to get off my buttocks today and get a little exercise, so I bundled up for a walk to the store. It was a beautiful and crisp evening. :) I couldn't help but appreciate the fall flowers, the crunching leaves, the white fluffy stuff floating around my head, and the auburn sun setting against a dramatic sky. Ahhhh.
Wait a minute...
White fluffy stuff? Floating around my head??
Isn't it a little late in the season for dandelion seeds? No, it can't be that... Gasp!! Dandruff! I have dandruff! Quick! Walk faster! I need a big bottle of Selsun Bl... oh hang on. My hat is on. It's not me. PHEW. Hmmm....
Then what is....?? Agh! SNOW! Sneaky little snowflakes silently puffing their way to the ground... dancing on the wind... taunting me! Upon closer inspection, I'm pretty sure I saw a little pink spot protruding from the flake stuck on my mitten - a tongue! I knew it! The little frosties are laughing at me! Grrr...
When I finally stopped sobbing in the street (and stomping on all of the tiny white offenders I could find...) I had to accept the truth. I guess it's that time again. Time to HIBERNATE.
But since we as mothers couldn't possibly do that, I guess we have some work to do:
- bringing out the winter clothes
- putting away the summer clothes
- making sure the family wagon (car) is equipped with all fluids, ice scrapers, etc.
- booking plans for a 6 month vacation in Hawaii (ROFLMAO - if you are seriously doing this, don't talk to me. I have nothing to say to you.)
These are all obvious winter-preparedness items, but I have a list of extra-special-survival-of-the-fattest(I mean smartest)-DIAMOND PLUS winter tips! Ready?
1. Put hand cream in your purse (to prevent 'diaper-changing, always washing "alligator winter hands"').
2. Give each and every member of the household their own "chapstick" (I keep about 10 extras
in my purse - for when they inevitably lose theirs and want to wipe their slimy snot-covered lips on mine. ew.)
3. Buy 5 of the exact same colour pairs of mittens to hand out in times of crisis.
4. Buy 100 pairs of socks all the same colour (to avoid losing your luscious winter locks pulling out your hair looking for the missing matches) and throw them in a free-for-all bucket in a
closet (and keep an extra pair in your purse).
5. Buy a bigger purse. Ok, maybe a knapsack.
Anybody want to add to the list? I need all the help I can get. I keep hearing that actually... "Rachel, you need help." Hmmm...
Happy trails! :D
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