Thursday, October 23, 2008

Welcome to real life....

Motherhood is so glamerous don't you think? I don't know about you ladies, but I signed up for long talks and quiet games with adorable cherub-like children who are always clean and shiny and smiling like you see them in the store windows. Ha. I have 4 boys. I got squirmy, flailing little "frog-like" creatures who are constantly covered in unidentified slime and bouncing from ceiling to ceiling (while screaming and squealing)! I wouldn't trade them for the world.... :)

Here are some more snippets from my "real" life:

Me (to my hubby): "Please put the bills away in a safe place. Our little toddler loves to rip them up."
Hubby: "It's ok. I don't mind."

Me (to a young teenager whom I have been teaching the fine art of grocery shopping): "Do you have anything else to get from the produce department?"
Friend: "Yes, I need some cheese."

Question: Why do mommies BLOG?
Answer: To feel like when they speak, somebody in the world listens.

Question: Why do mommies BLOG?
Answer: It's just too scary to keep this stuff to yourself.

Every time my husband is caught in a fart,, he tells the children that "it was a duck". At dinner the other night, he decided to let one go. My three year old's eyes widened in alarm and he shouted, "Daddy, you sat on the duck!"

Take heart moms who still have "baby weight" to lose. I have found that there are benefits to being chubby:
1. It's easier to shave your armpits.
2. You don't need to shave your legs as often (less hair per square inch - doesn't show up as much).
3. The extra padding keeps you warm (reducing the need to pancake yourself next to hubby in bed, arousing his "manly instincts".

There are however, some downfalls to being chubby:
1. Unless you wear shorts that fall way past your knees, they will inevitably ride up while you are walking.
2. You will have to wear long sweaters over your jeans so that you can discreetly unbutton them every time you sit in a car.
3. You will feel (and look) like a sausage in your favourite "college dress".

And just so you don't feel like reading today's post was a complete waste of time...... Laundry Tips!! (how exciting!):

I used to get frustrated every time I went to take clothes out of the dryer and there were no hangers in the laundry room for me to hang them up. No more! Now, every time someone takes something out of their closet to wear, they throw the hanger in the hamper. That way when the laundry comes downstairs, the hangers come too! (If you have a main floor or upstairs laundry, never mind. I'm so jealous....)

And... instead of walking back and forth and back and forth while hanging up clothes, now I just lay them (the ones that need hanging) flat on my dryer as I take them out. If I line them up right, I can grab a bunch of hangers and slip them in while they are still flat. Then I pick up the pile in one go.... and voila! They are ready to hang. :-)

WOW.... bet you're glad you logged in today....

:D Later!


Christina said...

Lol, real life...

Before I had kids I thought with slight disdain for certain parents I knew that my children would ALWAYS have clean clothes, faces, and noses. Ha. Now I know.

My husband's line for such bodily functions is "Was that a barking spider?" (or something like that) And he and my 13 month old son like burping (loudly) at each other! The joys of boys... ; ) I sure wouldn't trade my little guy, though, and wouldn't mind having some more.

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

I must say my favorite part is the baby weight!! I soooooo know EXACTLY what you are talking about!

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, I love the advantages of being funny and true!

everyday mom said...

LOL, you made me laugh so hard that I nearly wet myself (and this is quite possible after having a baby)

Jenny @ Daily Dose of Motherhood said...

This is great! Especially the tip of putting the hangers in with the laundry...that's a great idea!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

My Goodness said...

Love your funnies!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

And about that 5 hour nap...only by the grace of God was that able to happen!! I've never done it before and it may not happen again...but it was a blessing and helped me feel better.

Gotta go. Off to find you a sign 'Beware of Ducks'

Have a great weekend!!

Mandy said...

Thank you so much for stopping by! Boys! What are we gonna do with them? I am starting to get the feeling that is all we make. :)

I love the part about your toddler ripping up bills. I wouldn't care so much either. The farting duck stuff was hilarious, too!!