Please note*** DO NOT PUT ANYTHING SMALLER THAN YOUR ELBOW INTO YOUR EAR.
Why are you rolling your eyes at me? You mean you've already heard this one? But did you know that this also includes those cleverly packaged, neatly disguised little hearing-reduction sticks known as Q-Tips or Cotton Swabs... specially designed to fit perfectly inside the human ear?
Ok. Ok. So the packaging says "for external use only", but honestly, does anyone really believe that? For YEARS I've used these babies to keep my lovely 'listeners' clean and lint free. :-) Until that fateful day a year ago when my trusted family doctor (that I have trusted since I was 6 years old by the way) told me that they should not be used to clean your ears.
So I stopped. (Insert sobbing here)
For the next few months, the wax built up in my ears irritating me to NO END until I could not stand it any more and I bought a fresh package of extra-cotton "q-make-up applicators" or whatever they call 'em for these days, and eagerly ripped open the box.
Immediately following my tragic mistake, I made another appointment - this time at a local clinic to restore the hearing I lost in my left ear, by pushing the lovely wax build-up that I never had a problem with before into my ear canal.
Sigh. Why don't they warn us about these things?
That was 6 months ago. I chucked the offending box of cotton blobs into the garbage, never to think of them again. Until my hubby started nagging me to buy some more.
"I need to clean my ears." he said. "They're perfectly safe." he whined. "You don't have to push them so far into your ears bonehead." he convinced me.
I have another appointment on Wednesday.
Ok, I know... once was a tragic mistake and slightly funny. Twice is just rediculous and hilariously humiliating. Uh huh - I see you. Laugh! Go ahead and laugh at me... it doesn't matter anyway... because I CAN'T HEAR YOU ;-)
(Come to think of it, I also can't hear the kids and hubby whining. Oooh, do you think the "Q" stands for "Quiet"-tips? I think I just came up with a brilliant marketing strategy for the cotton swab industry. Maybe I'll postpone my appointment 'till next week. Where did I put that box?)
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