Monday, October 27, 2008

VERY Important "Q" Tip..!

Please note*** DO NOT PUT ANYTHING SMALLER THAN YOUR ELBOW INTO YOUR EAR.

Why are you rolling your eyes at me? You mean you've already heard this one? But did you know that this also includes those cleverly packaged, neatly disguised little hearing-reduction sticks known as Q-Tips or Cotton Swabs... specially designed to fit perfectly inside the human ear?

Ok. Ok. So the packaging says "for external use only", but honestly, does anyone really believe that? For YEARS I've used these babies to keep my lovely 'listeners' clean and lint free. :-) Until that fateful day a year ago when my trusted family doctor (that I have trusted since I was 6 years old by the way) told me that they should not be used to clean your ears.

So I stopped. (Insert sobbing here)

For the next few months, the wax built up in my ears irritating me to NO END until I could not stand it any more and I bought a fresh package of extra-cotton "q-make-up applicators" or whatever they call 'em for these days, and eagerly ripped open the box.

Immediately following my tragic mistake, I made another appointment - this time at a local clinic to restore the hearing I lost in my left ear, by pushing the lovely wax build-up that I never had a problem with before into my ear canal.

Sigh. Why don't they warn us about these things?

That was 6 months ago. I chucked the offending box of cotton blobs into the garbage, never to think of them again. Until my hubby started nagging me to buy some more.

"I need to clean my ears." he said. "They're perfectly safe." he whined. "You don't have to push them so far into your ears bonehead." he convinced me.

Sigh.

I have another appointment on Wednesday.

Ok, I know... once was a tragic mistake and slightly funny. Twice is just rediculous and hilariously humiliating. Uh huh - I see you. Laugh! Go ahead and laugh at me... it doesn't matter anyway... because I CAN'T HEAR YOU ;-)

(Come to think of it, I also can't hear the kids and hubby whining. Oooh, do you think the "Q" stands for "Quiet"-tips? I think I just came up with a brilliant marketing strategy for the cotton swab industry. Maybe I'll postpone my appointment 'till next week. Where did I put that box?)

6 comments:

Perfectlove said...

aww, sorry to here you didnt have a good experiance with Q-tips spaceofgrace, but dont give up! You need them, Q-tips should be your friend! They get rid of the yellow discusting crap in your ears so when your ear is ichy you dont end up with that nasty crust(or sometimes slimy) goop in your ear.
good luck!

p.s. dont stick them up your nose, use your fingure instead that way you can digg for the gold. Hope this can be some help to you :P
much Love
~Perfectlove~

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

Oh my you are too funny!!!!! I needed a good laugh. That is so great, and you really may be onto something with the new marketing.

everyday mom said...

I like the non hearing technique. I have had ear problems for years and now just let the wax build up and sometimes use the wax dissolve drops you can get at cvs, they do the trick.

Liz said...

I would love to tell you that I didn't laugh at your expense - but I suppose the lie would be wasted on your non-hearing ears......sorry...

I hope you are able to enjoy the blessed quiet for at least a little longer (and that your dr doesn't give you too hard of a time)

Give us a shout out (once you can hear yourself shout that is :)

Becky :) said...

You know it's funny you bring this up. I use Q-tips after every shower. I don't force them in my ear just a little in to keep that area clean so people don't see any wax. I do the same for my son, but I actually do it for him. My fiance won't touch the things and doesn't clean his ears. And you know what it totally grosses me out. If I see wax build up in anyones ear it grosses me out.
So I guess you could say I am being difiant and not following the rules. :-)
Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Kim said...

I've only recently found your site, but I get a kick out of your posts and am passing on an award for your blog!