Thursday, October 9, 2008

Moms in Isolation.....

"I want to be a stay-at-home-mom but it's just too much work."

Have you ever heard that one before? I have. Too many times. And sadly, in this society, I think it's true. Rarely do moms who "don't work" (ya right), get to stay at home any more. Rather, our days are overflowing with activities:

  • swimming lessons
  • library groups
  • home businesses
  • homeschooling
  • trying to keep a perfect house
  • bible studies, etc.

The list goes on and on. These are all good activites, but which ones are the BEST? Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned way of life that had time for moms to bake together, families to talk to one another, and allowing kids to be "little apprentices" as they watch and help with daily tasks, learning valuable life skills that can't be taught inside a community centre??

Moms spend so much time running here and there that they make plenty of acquaintances and very few friends. And something else happens too! Let me tell you my story:

Seven years ago I became mom to a beautiful little boy. I was living in a small town (without a bus system) and my husband and I decided that we wanted me to stay at home and raise our children. So I did. We pulled in our belts and got rid of the extras (like a second car) to make it work. That was the day I was sentenced to solitary confinement.

Every morning, hungry for human contact, I gathered up my little blue bundle, and walked to the park. More often than not, it was empty. On our daily excursions we passed many neighbours in their driveways busily heading out, and we waved politely, making small talk before we parted, saying over and over again, "Hey we should get together sometime." Actually, it was me (begging) saying that... I was so lonely.

Seven years later (and three more baby boy bundles to call my own - yes that's 4 BOYS) I have a car to drive during the day, and I live in a city with lots to do, yet I still stay home most days. I understand why moms are busy. We are ALL in solitary confinement, and WE KEEP BUSY TO EASE OUR GUILT AND GET THROUGH THE DAY.

We think our kids need activity, when really they need a mom and a home with space to play in. We think we need to keep busy (or we'll go crazy), but really we need the companionship of other moms and their children to share our lives with. We think we need to work, when already we have the job of a lifetime... equivelent to several full time jobs, but without pay, I might add. Consider these occupations and what they make:

Counsellor ($80,000K+)
Cook ($50,000K+)
Cleaner (I prefer "custodial engineer") ($25,000K+)
Teacher ($30,000K+)
Childcare Provider (25,000K+)
Accountant ($60,000K+)
Doctor ($150,000K+)
Manager ($50,000K+), etc

Put all those salaries together, and this is what a mother's job is worth: $470,000K+ (<--- PLUS)... but truly a mom is PRICELESS, for no one can replace the comfort a child finds in her bosom, the love she pours into her home, or the amazing cleaning properties found in the spit on her thumb (LOL).

Today's TIP ladies, is this: be encouraged!

For all that you do is priceless and you are precious in God's sight. Reach out to a new mom today and be a friend. No matter if you are a working mom, a SAHM, or something in between (for we all have different callings), we all need support. If you are an older mom, take a new one under your wing. If you are a new mom, hug your babies, knowing that you can relax as God will make you the mom that your children need. And if you need someone to talk to, email me! I'll be home ;-) and I'd love to chat. Have a nice day friends!


Jenni said...

Hi, thanks for stopping by my blog, glad you liked it :) You have a lovely site here, keep up the great work!

Dustybug said...

Great post! I'm a SAHM and we only have one vehicle as well, so I do feel rather isolated at times. We live in the country, so there is nothing within walking distance but a cow field ;) It's great to be reminded why I've sacrificed the things that I did once in awhile, because what I do is truly priceless!

Christina said...

I felt extremely lonely when my daughter was born. I lived across the country from my family and 4 hours away from my husbands family. For some reason, even though I was very social, I had a hard time making friends. My daughter is now 2 and we live in my home state with my family. I am finally starting to making other mom friends...but it's hard! Thanks for the encouraging blog.

Muthering Heights said...

Great post...the encouragement from other SAHM's is so important!

Dana said...

Thank you for the encouraging post! Are you an extrovert? I'm an introvert which I wonder if that helps me cope in some ways. As you know, I live in Africa so - well - there's no where to go if I did want to go somewhere but there are other SAHMs that I'd like to get together with more often. All in all though I don't feel too isolated. My son is only 7 months old so maybe my feelings of isolation just haven't hit yet... Thanks again!