Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Guilt-Free Mothering!! Can it be??

Hands up ladies! Who deals with GUILT on a daily basis? Come on... don't leave me up here alone. G.U.I.L.T. - You know what that stands for don't you?

G - Grieving
U - under
I - incredible
L - loads of
T - trash. (or Too high expectations)

I have always had a lofty view of motherhood. I think it started when I got married (before I had children). I would look at all the moms around me and knew exactly what they were doing wrong. I mean, it was so obvious. I read the parenting magazines. I watched "A Baby Story". Shucks! I even knew how to give birth properly. Don't these women know anything? Sigh... I would have to show them a thing or two.

So I did. I had a baby of my own.

And from that day on, I lived grieving-under-incredible-loads of-trash... that trash being my own expectations.

And if that wasn't bad enough, THEN I BECAME A CHRISTIAN. And I laboured not only under my own expectations, but my own expectations of what I thought God expected. I don't think I need to tell you (nor do I really want to admit it - LOL) that I was wayyyyy off base. Ok. Ok. I was wrong.

BUT guess what I am learning? It's so exciting! Did you know that the key to guilt-free mothering is all right there in the bible? I want to share it with you. Take this to heart mommies.

Romans 8:33 "Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns?"

Cool! No one can condemn me. If my own worst enemy - satan - has gone before God accusing me, trying to shame me and showcase my guilt, and FAILED at doing so, then why should I worry? Will I be able to do a better job and condemn myself? No. God sees JESUS when He looks at me.

Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What really caught my attention here is that "life and death" refer to everything that I can see, "angels and demons" refer to everything I can't see, and the "present and the future" mean that I can't mess things up NOW or LATER, so long as I believe in Jesus. How comforting!

I know what you are going to ask me. Rachel, what about the stuff I do wrong and the things I fail to do as a mom, as a wife, as a Christian? I feel so guilty all the time.

Loved ones.... please read this:

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Try it. Trust it. Believe His Word, not your feelings.

However, even though I practiced and believed the above, I was still grieved in my heart over my constant failings. Last week, God led me to understand something that I had never noticed before. Jesus told the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane (just before He was arrested and they deserted Him):

Matthew 26:41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

It hit me!! Jesus wouldn't have asked them to pray if the Father wasn't absolutely willing and able to answer that prayer and keep them from sin! WOW.. He wants to help me! Yahoo! So I'm now trying to go before God and ask Him simply but directly to help me in my own areas of weakness. I think God wants us to be specific when we pray, don't you? Tell Him exactly what's going on, where you keep blundering, and how much you need His help. He desires to be there for you and give you His power to stand firm. How amazing is that?

And you know, for all the things I feel I should be doing and stumble under the heavy weight of trying to do it all, I trust in this --> if God wants me to do something, He will provide the resources for me to do it. 'Nuff said. No more trying to be superwoman. I have a GOD to be super for me.

Guilt is only productive if it leads us to repentance, not if it weighs me down. Don't believe me? Check with God. He's the one who said that! 2 Corinthians 7:10. (You have to look that one up on your own. Sigh. Do I have to do all the work around here? ;-))

And as a final thought.... I love this saying:
If you pray, why worry?
If you worry, why pray?

I love you mommies! You are precious in God's sight!

More scheduling tomorrow. Hope your lists are going well and that you sleep peacefully and guilt-free tonight. :-) God has blessed you with everything you need to be the mom your children need - HIM.


Christina said...

Thank you. I needed that. I really did. God used you to encourage me tonight.

hazel eyes said...

I think worry definitely falls into the trash category. Sometimes I find myself worrying even though I know God is trustworthy.

If you pray, why worry.
If you worry, why pray.

I like that and will be considering this as my thoughts start to drift. Thanks!