Thursday, October 30, 2008

Boundaries?? WHA?

I found this interesting sentence in a book that I am reading called Boundaries, by Henry Cloud:

"A boundary shows me where I end and somebody else begins."


Ok. While on the whole this statement sounds lovely, there is a part in there where it all falls apart for me.... you know, the part where it says that I END...

Doesn't this man know that there will be at least some MOTHERS reading his book? We NEVER end....

When we eat, our plate is shared among the nations (ok, the kids and the hubby but it seems like the nations).

When we make adult conversation (or try to), we do it with one ear open, masterfully keeping the entire household running and punctuating each sentence with discipline for the small people in our midst (an essential acquired skill for survival).

When we sleep, we are always on call.

When we come home from work, we continue working.

When we become "stay at home mothers", we work harder than we ever have before.

When our children laugh, we rejoice.

When our children are sick, we are sick (sometimes quite literally).

When we became MOTHERS, we made the decision to forever live the rest of our lives with our hearts walking around outside of our bodies.

I will never be the same again. And I find it really hard to draw "boundaries" when it seems that a mom's job is truly boundary-less.

I'm kind of teasing the author a bit though because it is actually a good book so far, and I think he makes some wonderful points that we mom-people especially need to hear.

So check it out if you can... Henry Cloud (try

I think I'm going to draw a few NEW boundaries of my own:

1. Bathroom time is now ME time! I'm having hubby install a titanium
deadbolt lock on the door (a little iffy but I think it might be strong enough
to keep the little ones out).

2. If someone farts in my presence one more time, I'm leaving the room (this will be difficult in a house with 5 boys (sigh), but it just might give me an excuse to go out for a bit. Hee hee.)

3. When hubby comes home from a stressful day at work and retires to the drawing room for some "much-needed quiet time", either I'm joining him, or the kids are.

4. Wipe your own nose... you are 36 years old!!

5. My bra is no longer to be used as a pilot's headgear. Sorry. I'm not changing my mind on this one - not after the last "Show and Tell" day at school... :O

What "boundaries" (yeah I know, "as if!") do you guys have in your home?? I'd love some new ideas. It's time to cut the apron strings ladies... yes, I know they won't let go.... those little hands have a surprisingly strong grip. ;-)


everyday mom said...

Can I have boundaries yet, he only just started walking. I would like to be able to pee without having to back right up to the edge of the toilet so little one cant get his hand down there.

I like the pilots head gear, very creative!!

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

That is TOO FUNNY!! I feel your pain with the boundaries! You made my night!

Liz said...

Once again a truly amusing and profound post. I would post your rules on my walls myself, but I fear that if I follow #2 too closely I will be all but exiling myself from my home...oh the life in a home of boys.